‘Forgiveness Juice’ is based on various experiences that I’ve had over the years. I have definitely played the part of both the customer and the waitress, at different times. ‘Bittersweet’ is a simple acrostic, inspired by observing someone who is struggling to forgive.
If you are reading this and I’ve ever wronged you, then please forgive me. ….and if you’ve wronged me, I forgive you.
I hope these poems speak to your heart.
‘I’ll have a pint of forgiveness juice please.’
‘We’re all out of forgiveness.’
I said, ‘Well, forget the drink then.
Can I get a small portion of grilled mercy, served with a side of understanding and maybe a grace salad?
She said, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry. The kitchen’ s out of mercy, and we just used up the last lot of grace and understanding.
Is there something else I can help you with?’
I kept persevering.
‘Ok… have you got any of that patience pie I had last time? I remember thinking it was really good.’
‘I wouldn’t try my patience, if I were you.’
‘How about some peace porridge or even some friend chips? I just need a snack.’
She said, ‘No Ma’am, I’m sorry, we don’t serve those anymore, they’re not popular right now.’
(I was getting desperate by now, and hungrier and hungrier for something to take away the emptiness in my belly, the ache in the depths of my being.)
I said, ‘Listen, I’ll have some of whatever you’ve got. I’m really hungry, please – just give me something to eat!’
‘Ok, sure’, the waitress smiled, then snapped her notebook shut and turned on her heel, not wasting a second.
She came back with a plate piled high with food and carefully set it before me.
‘Here you are Ma’am’, she said. ‘The best from our kitchen.’
There was a very large helping of cold condemnation, with fiery judgement sauce. There was a double side of anger and punishment,
(With a strong hint of resentment.)
Crowning all this, a generous dollop of sour cream.
‘Hold on’, the waitress said, ‘You will need some seasoning of loneliness and despair…’
I tried to say ‘No, thanks!’ but I was too late.
She had already sprinkled it on.
I was dismayed indeed, and very nearly walked out,
But I was starving by then,
So I ate.
The more I ate, the colder and more revolting the plate of food became.
But I was still hungry.
So I ate some more.
In fact the more I ate,
The hungrier I became.
You would think I would get used to it, but every mouthful tasted worse than the last.
And the mound of condemnation somehow never got smaller.
It looked as though I would never finish the meal.
Finally, getting wise to this, I pushed the plate away.
I’d had enough.
I got up to pay the bill, but the waitress chased me round the room with a spoon.
‘You can’t go!’ She screamed. ‘You didn’t finish your plate!
And what about your just desserts?!’
Let me tell you, any sensible person would have run away as fast as they could
But I didn’t leave without trying once more:
‘Are you sure
You don’t have any of that forgiveness juice you guys are famous for?’
‘Do you not even have one drop?
One drop is all I need!’
© Katie Lee 2020
Broken. So you separate yourself from those you once called friends.
Injured. You lock yourself away where no one can come in
Tearing up the script of the past, you remake every moment, every scene
Tainting each memory with your dark filter
Every tender, joyful moment you edit out of the movie -then play it back again
Replaying only all the things they said and did that caused you harm.
Simmering away, pain raises pressure inside you.
What pride does, to not let go, all the while offence simmers, boils until
Eruption! You release sulfuric words in rage and clouds of hatred to the sky
Every day I wish I could restore your perspective to the truth
Trapped on your volcanic isle – but you can’t contemplate forgiveness to make you free.
© Katie Lee 2020
This is just the beginning- join me again next week as I continue delving into the deep waters of forgiveness. These two poems may come across as quite a negative perspective on this wonderful topic. I wanted to address not only the beauty and joy of giving and receiving true forgiveness, (and I really have experienced this); but also the reality of what can sometimes happen and how difficult forgiveness can be…so I’m just getting started.
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